Sexual abuse is a painful reality. Millions of children have suffered the shame, humiliation, anger, and sadness that sexual abuse often causes. Fortunately, as we become better able to recognize the signs of sexual abuse and help children understand that it’s safe to tell someone about it, more people are getting the help they need.

You are NOT alone. Statistics indicate:

• 67% of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement were juveniles under the age of 18. More than half (34%) of these victims were under the age of 12. (Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement: Victim, Incident, and Offender Characteristics. U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000).
• Females comprised 82% of all juvenile victims. 73% of female victims were under the age of 12. 69% of female victims were under the age of 6. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000).
• 23% of all sexual offenders were under the age of 18. 40% of these offenders victimized children under the age of 6. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000).
• In 1999, 47% of child sex offenders were related to the victim, 49% were acquaintances , and 4% were strangers. (Juvenile Offenders and Victims 1999 National Report. Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, 1999).
• In 1998, juveniles accounted for 77.9% of sexual assault victims in the state of Wisconsin. Nearly 71% of all victims are under the age of 15. The majority (83%) of these victims were female. (Crime and Arrests in Wisconsin—1998, Federal Bureau of Investigation Uniform Crime Reporting Program. Wisconsin Office of Justice Assistance, 1998).

Adapted from: Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault: Information Sheet Series (#1cas), Madison, Wisconsin, 2000).

What Is Child Abuse?

Sometimes it is difficult to decide whether or not sexual abuse has occurred. Clearly, if an adult has sexual intercourse with a child, the child has been sexually abused. But intercourse is certainly not the only sexual act that is classified as abuse. Even seemingly less serious sexual behaviors are damaging to children and are considered abusive.

For instance:

• Fondling or kissing a child in a sexual manner.
• Making a child watch pornographic movies or sexual activities.
• Talking with a child in a sexual or seductive manner.
• Exhibiting one’s sexual organs to a child, or making the child display his or her own genitals.
• Taking sexually explicit photographs of a child.

Confronting sexual abuse, your own or a child’s, is often very difficult. It is not unusual to deny or try to cover up sexual abuse. Sometimes this is because the perpetrator, or abuser, has threatened harm if the abuse is disclosed. Other times it is because of the victim’s feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment. Telling someone about the abuse can be especially difficult if the abuser is a trusted family member or family friend. In fact, over one-third of individuals who are sexually abused never reveal the abuse. Adults who have kept the secret of sexual abuse locked away for many years may find it too painful to re-open these wounds and acknowledge the abuse.

Who Are The Sexual Abusers?

Sexual abuse can occur both within and outside the family. However, almost all sexual abuse victims know their abusers, and often it is a male relative such as a stepfather, uncle, grandfather, or brother. Although less common, there are incidents in which the abuser is female.

It is difficult to understand what drives an individual to sexually abuse a child; it is even more difficult to understand when the abuser is a family member or someone you love. Although little is known about the characteristics of sexual abusers, we do know that many perpetrators, or abusers, have themselves been sexually abused as children. It is important that perpetrators of sexual abuse seek help. Often, psychiatric treatment is beneficial.

Possible Warning Signs Of Abuse

If a child spontaneously reports or suggests sexual abuse, it is crucial to take it seriously; children rarely make false accusations of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, very few children directly report sexual abuse. Because of this, it is helpful to be aware of some of the subtle cues that might indicate abuse. Below are some of the common symptoms that sexually abused children and adolescents often display.

Indications Of Sexual Abuse In Children And Adolescents

• Sexualized behavior, like children playing with dolls in a sexual way, or adolescents engaging in promiscuous sexual activity.
• Acting-out behaviors such as running away or temper tantrums.
• Regressive behaviors such as thumbsucking, baby talk, or curling up in fetal position.
• Poor school performance.
• Drug and/or alcohol abuse.
• Radical behavior change in any direction, like suddenly becoming a model child or suddenly beginning to act in a rebellious or unruly way.
• Low self-esteem.
• Guilt, self-blame.
• Dissociation in mild or severe forms, like excessive daydreaming, or even multiple personality disorder.
• Self-mutilating behaviors, like cutting oneself or hurting oneself in other ways.
• Eating disturbances.
• Sleep disturbances, especially nightmares or insomnia.
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Depressed or sad mood.
• Feeling anxious in general or having fears of specific settings or circumstances, often related to the abusive situation.
• Perfectionism.
• Aggression.
• Withdrawal.
• Abdominal pain.
• Genital, urethral or rectal pain, bruising, bleeding or abrasions.
• Sexually transmitted diseases.
• Recurrent urinary tract infections.
• Bed-wetting.
• Bed-soiling.
• Pregnancy.

Remember, the presence of any one of these symptoms does not necessarily mean a child has been sexually abused. However, the presence of a combination of these symptoms should alert an adult to the need to investigate. If you are concerned, arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist.

If you suspect your child, or another child, has been sexually abused, report it. If the abuse has occurred within your family, contact your local child protection agency. If the abuse has occurred outside of the family, report it to the police. Your first responsibility is to protect the child.

If a child even hints that sexual abuse has occurred, it is important to take it seriously. Disclosing abuse is a frightening experience, especially for a child. Show that you understand and believe the child. Help the child realize that he or she did not cause the abuse, and is not to blame for it. Don’t let the child suffer alone.

The Long-Term Effects of Sexual Abuse

• Low self-esteem, feelings of self-hatred or shame.
• An inability to trust, often leading to difficulties in establishing relationships.
• Sexual difficulties or a lack of ability to feel sexual with individuals other than those with whom there is no attachment.
• Continuation of the sexual abuse cycle: marrying an abusive partner or abusing one’s own children.
• Dissociative disorders, the most severe form being multiple personality disorder.
• Increase in alcohol or drug use, sometimes leading to substance abuse disorders.
• Chronic abdominal, urinary tract or gynecological problems.
• Repressed anger and hostility.
• Depression and thoughts of suicide. Anxiety or panic.
• Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia, or compulsive eating.

What Do You Do If You Have Been Abused?

Tell someone. You do not have to suffer the nightmare of sexual abuse alone. There is help available. The pain does not have to continue indefinitely. You may be experiencing one or more of the symptoms discussed, or even other problems that seem unrelated to sexual abuse. Addressing the problems of the abuse is likely to help alleviate many of your emotional difficulties. Do not be ashamed; you are not to blame.

If you, or someone you know has been sexually abused, there are a variety of helpful treatments. These range from self-help groups to individual or group therapy. Some survivors utilize a combination of these treatments. Treatment helps reduce the shame and isolation that often follows abuse as well as helps people understand the wide range of conflicting, and often confusing, emotional reactions to sexual abuse. Most importantly, treatment can help people realize that the abuse was not their fault or responsibility. The first step toward treating sexual abuse is accepting the fact that the victim does not provoke sexual abuse.